Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
