I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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