Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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