You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
