Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Randomize
