I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Drake has all the answers
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
