you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
All the doctor said was why
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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