is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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