Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
