can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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