Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
