Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
