My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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