i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
