I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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