forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
All the doctor said was why
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
