We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
