Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I love you. Go after that dick
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
