Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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