How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
