I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I have aggressive nipples.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
