Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
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