My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
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