I wanna passion pit in your ass
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
i now understand why vodka
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
