i think my tv is drunk
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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