all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
