Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
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