singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
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