He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
