just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
