He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
no, he came in my armpit
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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