i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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