Duck Duck Cougar?
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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