She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
