I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
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