I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
