I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
