started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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