I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
