Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
