if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
I'm going to jail i love you
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
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