She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
