pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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