i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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