Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
