You're my little dorito
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
