I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
