Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
