is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize