Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
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