I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize