i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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