Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
