Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
