Soap is not a condiment
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
