It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I wish i was in the wii world.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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