I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
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