I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
lol hangovers are for mortals.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
