Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
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