sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
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