I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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