so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
